Homesick

Yup, yesterday broke down crying at lunch... SO EMBARRASSING!

On Sunday, after I skyping with my mom and sister for awhile, I was a little subdued and sad. Up until then, I had been very busy with trips, meetings and tours with the program around Alcala and Madrid. I hadn't had time to even think about how much I missed my family! The program kept us busy. Now that classes are starting and our days aren't taken up by orientation, I have time to myself, free time that I was looking forward to having but now resent because I think about being at home and at Skidmore. My homesick episode was triggered by the littlest thing...

In Spain, water and electricity are expensive. There are frequent draughts here, so the Spanish are very water concious. On Sunday, I took two showers, one in the morning and one in the evening because I was so sweaty!! Dun dun duuuun.... Poor choice, or I should have asked my host mother. So, during lunch, my host mother brought it up very sweetly and reminded me of how precious water is. She was not mad at me at all and said that she has given that schpeel to all of her students, but I felt so bad! Up until that point I had been very aware of turning off lights and turning off the faucet every time I could. This reminded me of how I am not at home, and therefore not with my family, and not with my mom for her birthday... I tried to explain how sorry I was about the shower and that I have been trying very hard to respect their home and I don't want to seem stupid and selfish by taking more showers. And then I bust out crying. I explained that it was my mom's birthday and I just really missed my family. She was SO NICE. Pilar is always so nice. She comforted me and totally understood. She gave me so many hugs and kisses. She explained how Tania spent two month in Italy doing a sort of au paire thing and called her everyday crying. She had a horrible experience because the parents weren't nice, and all she had were the cows for company. Then I felt even worse because I have a much better situation than Tania had because I am so lucky to have a wonderful family to host me. Then Tania walked in the door after returning home from work. She felt so bad for me and also gave me hugs. Both were very supportive. Pilar then felt bad because she thought that I took her shower talk very harshly and that I didn't like the food she made, and that triggered my sadness. I explained that it was everything. I hope she understood. I think so. Anyways, I am rambling. In conclusion: although it was a sad day yesterday, I found out my host family is very supportive of me and is happy to have me here. I feel the love!

I will never take two showers in one day... EVER AGAIN.