Oy... A rough week... AND IT AINT OVER YET! My friend, Bridget, titled her most recent post "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times" I think that is entirely appropriate. There are bads to every good unfortunately... So many things have gone down. I have wanted to write about them, but there are too many!!!!! It finally came down to me breaking down in the shower, so I figured it was time to have a little bit of a blog rant. Here are a few of the things... I'll probably add to them tomorrow.
Good: No classes on Fridays.
Bad: Spent this past Friday totally freaking out and mapping out my semester. Not enough time to explore Europe and Spain! Stress.
Good: Have a clearer vision of the semester. Barcelona, Ireland and/or London, and a week+ in Scandinavia with Svenningsens!
Bad: WE MAY NOT HAVE OUR WEEK VACATION IN DECEMBER FOR ME TO VISIT THE SVENNINGSENS. That's right, my friends. Turns out the program directors were little liars. Only the program classes are on vacation that week. The university classes do not have off, even though in a letter they sent to our parents it said we have off that entire week. Even worse for my friend, Bridget, she already bought non-refundable tickets to Dublin that week.
Bad: A science event gone wrong at the other campus. Definitely false advertisement. We traveled 20 minutes on the bus to get to the shady other campus in the middle of nowhere to find out that instead of seeing amazing phosphorescent glowing bacteria, we were forced to make poop batteries... Literally... Out of goat poop.
EVEN WORSE: To get back to civilization, we had to take the bus. Little did we know that the buses change on the other campus after a certain hour in the evening, so we waited at an inactive stop for an hour, just to find another one and wait another 20 minutes to find out they were not running... My friend Emily and I finally decided to find someone to ask about it. We found two girls, one from the Philippines and one from Portugal, and they helped us find our way. Talking to them made me realize how even more sketch the other campus is. The other campus houses the international students and anyone else living in dorms. It's way far away from the center of town. Horrible. Also, the entire evening was dominated by the infamous Isabelle, a power seeking, condescending girl from Tufts who changed her name from Elizabeth just for Spain. Throughout the evening, Bridget and I mimed many different ways of killing the other and ourselves.
Good: We had a mandatory historic tour of Madrid last weekend
Bad: It was a complete waste of time and sleep... ON A SATURDAY
Good: I am taking an art class!
Bad: Wasn't sure it would count for credit until....
Good: It has been approved!! A painting 300 level course! It's only a 300 level course because I have already taken a 300 level painting class. Woot woot!
Bad: The place I am taking it at is used to having people come in who have never done art before and are happy to even make a stick figure. The teachers are legit artists, but just haven't worked with an art student like me in awhile, so I think this is a learning experience for them too. An example of this is that they gave me incorrect paper to watercolor on, which completely ruined my painting after a certain point. I noticed but tried not to get upset. I talked with them about it and they felt so bad! To me it was a big deal, but if I were a normal student, it wouldn't matter too much. I need to be clearer with them about what I want. The atmosphere is completely different than a Skidmore class. What I need to do is still uphold my expectations of myself and my work while getting used to and trying a new way of working.
Good: The art history class will complete my art history requirements! I needed a 100 level course, but the department head said that, although it is a 200 level course, this class would suffice
Bad: The class is during the exact hours of siesta, so I always want to sleep.
Badder: Turns out the tutoría portion of the class is required!! Even though all the other tutorías for the other classes are non existent or not required. SHOOT ME. I found this out after being a bit of a punching bag with my host mom's adorable granddaughters and just laying down to rest for a minute. My friend texted me 20 minutes into the class. I had to sprint there in angry haze and tried to communicate with the professor (who is not the professor for the class, mind you) that no one had told me that it was required.
Even worse: I was overdue 3 euros on my phone at that point.
Good: Ate porras and chocolate Sunday morning. Spaniards, you know what that means!
Bad: Not too much sleep.
Good: Taught my first English class on Monday! What a crazy experience! Looking at the students (which were from the university and professionals) and their eyes made me realize I had all the power, not in a power hungry way, but in a scary way. I didn't want to mess up anything because they depend on me. They were really focused on everything I was saying. They looked to me for help.
Bad: I foresee difficulties with my partner. Not because she isn't nice, but because she has a different tempo and way of working.
Bad: I don't think I can volunteer in the theater because of all these schedule mess ups.
Bad: Realizing my Spanish will never be as good as a native speaker. Also, that I feel like I can never fully express myself in my speech, whether it was trying to communicate with the professor for the tutoría or trying to tell Pilar how much I appreciate her. Or even talking with Cristina, my Spanish friend. She's so cool and goofy, but because I don't know how to be cool and goofy in Spanish, I don't know how much further our friendship will go.
Bad: Frustrated because the problems that have arisen with the program are not language barrier problems. They are a lack of communication. We were really babied and spoiled the first couple of weeks, and there was no transition. (But still, the program is awesome. Don't get me wrong. I am just annoyed at one aspect at this moment in time)
Even worse: Being in this different place with new people, new systems, new language, new way of living has made me feel really disorganized. I am not on top of my game here. At Skidmore, I could juggle everything and more. I can't figure out what is making things difficult here. On top of that, it's hard to find what I need here! Example: normal notebooks are not sold in Carrefour. Only third grade lined versions or graph notebooks. In order to get the supplies I need, I have to go to a papeleria. The whole store system is different. You can't browse for what you want. The store consists of a counter and you must as the woman behind the desk for what you want. And there's like only one type of everything. Ok, that doesn't sound very difficult, but believe me, it's an extra step to get used to.
Bad: Can't find a good balance between staying in touch with family and friends vs. being present here. I feel I am no longer in the loop with anyone not in Spain. In order for me to know what's happening outside of this country with the people I care about, I feel I have to be on my computer all the time, which was not the reason why I was here... WHY ARE COMPUTERS SUCH A NECESSITY IN OUR CULTURE THESE DAYS????
Bad: I am just in a really horrible mood.
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