Another world!

Mostly written on Wednesday

Hola chicos!

Imagine being in a medieval Spanish market, full of life, animals, crafts, open spits of meat, and music... That's where I am right now! Every year, to honor Miguel Cervantes, the center of the city transforms into a medieval festival. Banners are strung across the plaza and side streets. People walking around and selling things in mediveal garb. Don Quijote valiantly trotting down the street with Sancho Panza and various performers and snakes. Rides! Tarot cards and psychics. Stalls apon stalls of sweets, jewelry, leather, spices, olives, chachkies, (again) MEAT, everything from all over the world! This all was put up overnight... WHAT? I had the best chorizo I have had since I arrived here and churros soaked to the marrow with liquid chocolate. YUM. Also, bread ovens placed in the plaza. Was that there before?

Anyway... A few other things...
It feels like fall!!!! Well, only this weekend. Now it's back up to 85. But all that's missing is some change in foliage... if there was any here in Madrid. Only desert.
This past weekend, aside from the festival, a few of my friends and I attempted to and then followed through with going to Toledo, a small historic city in near by Castille-La Mancha (the region where Don Quijote attacked those windmills). The first attempt was on Saturday. We went to buy tickets, but the train we wanted was full, so we bought tickets for Sunday and explored Madrid like tourists. Def fun every once in awhile. We went to the Palacio Real (being honest: Versailles is way cooler) and then the group gave in to taking the obnoxious double decker red bus (YES!!!!) for two different tours around the city. One in old Madrid and one through modern Madrid. Old Madrid is cooler, but we went past the Real Madrid stadium on the modern one. After an exhausting day, we returned back home to the festival, but didn't stay out too late because we were going to Toledo the next day.
Sunday, bright and early for a normal Spaniard, we were off to Toledo! Not knowing too much about the city beforehand (other than it is home to one of the most famous El Greco paintings "The Burial of Count Orgaz"), I was ready to explore. The trip consisted of the normal commuter rail and then a half hour trip on an Amtrak-y kind of train. Very easy and smooth now that we figured out how the system works. The city was nice. Kind of like Segovia in that it's hilly and has some pretty old parts. Also, a really beautiful cathedral. We first went to a museum that was formally a church and/or a monastery that had some old pottery and lots of Christian art, including some of El Greco. Very enjoyable and relaxed. We met up with two people from the Madrid part of the program, which was nice to see new people, but also changed the group dynamic/desire to do things. We stopped speaking Spanish, and everything took longer. No big deal. Not bitter. After having black paella for lunch (the kind with squid ink which was not too bad) we wandered around. The Madrid people didn't want to go into the cathedral because it cost money, which annoyed me because we get reembursed. Then, when trying to find the church where The Burial of Count Orgaz is, we tried the special Toledano, a strange cookie thing and marzipan, a popular ducle from Toledo. We followed signs to find the church, but weren't too sure of where it was. There were signs on a church we passed that said the name of the church, Santo Tome. I stopped and asked inside if that's where the painting was. It was, but somehow the group did not understand and left. So, my friend, Michael, and I had a lovely chat while admiring the work. SO HAPPY I SAW IT!!! SUCESS OF THE TRIP! Having had so much fun on the red bus the day before, we wanted to go on the cheesy "train" thorughout the city, but the two times we went, the lady at the store where they sold the tickets was rude and said there weren't enough seats. That was a damper on our day. We were all so tired from the day before that doing other things was a little more difficult, so we did the Spanish thing and sat on a bench in the plaza and enjoyed each other's company and the weather.

Well, yup, it was that time of the semester yesterday. I tend to have one freak out per semester, usually pertaining to the mountain of work I make for myself. I had a melt down. I realized that I felt like I was not doing enough here. I haven't been taking advantage of the semester as much as I should. And, I don't feel like myself. I feel lazy, tired, and I've become a mega procrastinator. And, I haven't become a conocido at a place yet. So cheesy, but I use art to experience life. And, I also would spend A LOT of time painting at Skidmore. So what do I do with that time now? I am barely doing any theater here, where at Skidmore, when I wasn't painting, I was at the theater. I didn't realize this change would affect me so much. I thought I would be so full of Spain things I would be able to kind of leave these things for a bit and try new things. I haven't found new things to fufill me, so I feel lost. I also haven't made Spanish friends... whoops! I feel like I haven't connected enough with the people here. And, I had this presentation for my theater class looming above me that I didn't know how to do.
And yes, I cried even more to the program directors after breaking down in front of Bridget. I didn't know what else to do. How was I going to get my life fixed when I couldn't do it myself? They are the people who know this city and the program inside out. They were so so nice and said crying was totally normal and part of the experience. Like crying is a release, which is true, but now I need to find a solution. They were incredibly comforting. Sergio was sincere and came up with things to make me smile or laugh, like telling me I was one of the best at doing this yoga thing we did in class (el gato!) and that he is so happy with my work in the class. Miguel totally put on his dad face. I can see how he is a dad. Angelines, the women who coordinates the families, was like you need rest! Don't worry! Being tired and resting is part of being Spanish. She was like, "you're sick? You should go to a doctor! Miguel, look up doctors for her!" I am impressed I was able to convey pretty much all of that in Spanish and while extremely upset. I had my grammar class very soon after, but Miguel said I could stay in the office as long as I needed. I stayed the entire class and chatted with Sergio.

Things they recommended I do:
Forget American time. There's no such thing as a waste of time.
Relax and enjoy all aspects of the experience
If I can't do something one day, put it off to the next
Paint outside of class
They will help me find shows to go to

In honor of my freak out and pulling myself back together for a fresh start, I bought a permanent leather bracelet at the market and tied it where my watch normally is on my left wrist. I am not going to wear a watch here anymore. Cheesy, but I did it as a sort of symbolic kind of thing so that every time I look at my wrist out of habit, I'll see the little reminder to take a breath and that I am in Spain and should enjoy life here.

I wrote a nice thank you email to the two of them for all their help. SPANISH:
Hola Miguel y Sergio,

Muchas gracias para os apoyo ayer. Me sentia muy mal (obviamente) para muchas razones. Aunque dijisteis que no debo sentir culpa para llorar, no me gusta arrojar mis problemas en otras personas. Tengo suerte que tengo vosotros a ayudarme. Vosotros sois tan tan majos. He tratado a aprovechar esta experiencia, pero me siento que no he aprovechado este experiencia bastante. Trato a hacer algo, pero no es bastante. No quiero perdir este semestre. Y estoy enferma y tan cansada. No me siento como mi misma porque no tengo bastante arte, teatro, y musica en mi vida espanola. Estos son muy importante de mi vida en general. Uso el arte y pintura para expresar y experimentar la vida. Encima de todo, mi horario es tan loco. Aunque no es tan lleno que mi horario en Skidmore (me esforcé a coger menos clases aquí), aqui perdí el control de mis cosas. Normalmente soy muy organizada. Y me siento que no estoy haciendo bastante cosas espanoles. Necesito encontrar un equilibrio de cosas espanoles y pocas cosas que me hacen mí.

Con os consejo sobre tiempo, compré una pulsera permanente esta noche en el mercado y puse en mi muñeca en vez de mi reloj. Es cursi, pero veo esto como un símbolo y un recuerdo que he dejado el tiempo y el mente americano. Estoy en España y voy a recordar a disfrutar la vida.

Espero que sepais lo much que aprecí os apoyo y os consejo ayer. Ayer fue un momento muy vulnerable para mí. En serio, estoy súper afortunada que tengo vosotros. Sois tan amable y reconfortante.

¡¡Un abrazo súper grande!!
-Elisabeth